Blogging squared?

The blogging planets are obviously in alignment, because I've been asked to write an article about my experience of blogging, and the day i come to my computer to write it, i read this post and this one, and now i want to add my penny to the pot, for whatever it's worth. First, the comment I left on Christine's thought-provoking post:

When i started blogging i had no idea where it would take me; in a way i was joining a ready-made community, but also simply using it as a platform to share my words and poetry, and talk a little about the grief i was going through. As the readership grew, so did the support, that is something i will always be so grateful for. the more bloggers i met in real life, the more i could see how blogging has the potential to connect us all; to help us feel less alone, to share the human-ness of it all.

these days i blog about my journey, such as it is, to continue the conversation with those souls who've followed me along the healing path. i have days when i wonder why i still blog, but then i'll get an email from someone thanking me for being so honest about my struggles, and i feel so humble, and glad that i can share what i've learned, even if only in a small way.

i don't care about stats, and while i value every comment i receive, i don't hang out hoping for them to arrive. i think like anything that involves human interaction, blogging can carry a lot of expectations with it, and certainly there is the potential for emotions to get involved. the issue of popularity gets mentioned a lot in the blog-airwaves, and while it's not something i've ever strived for, i can see how people can feel excluded when the blogosphere starts to resemble an exclusive club. It's easy to link to friends and bloggers and share photos, and after a while it turns into a show-and-tell of who's in your address book - geez, i've done it myself :-) i wrote a post a while back about how a blog can be (and is often) the PR version of a person's life - the edited highlights, the best bits, the stuff they're proud of, and it's good to celebrate the positives, and look on the bright side. But i was also aware of how i had a tendency to use the blog world as a stick to beat myself with, finding myself lacking when compared to the good fortune of others. Obviously none of this was particularly conscious, but i did find that when i cut down my blog reading, i got so much more done, and felt able to focus on *my* path, rather than get sucked into the energy drain that blogging can be.

Okay, i'm realising that there is a lot more i could write about this so i might post this comment on my blog too - bloggers blogging about blogging is surely blogging squared?

I have times when i want to take this blog down, to make myself less visible when i'm feeling overexposed in my off-line life, or because i find i have an issue with having so much of my dirty/clean laundry hanging around on the internet. Other times i wish my blog wasn't a 'personal blog', that it was one focussed solely on photography and art, that shared the things/artists i find inspiring, as those are the blogs i tend to read most these days. I try to mix the two, but i'm not sure if it works, and being the perfectionist that i am, i want the blog to 'work', whatever that really means. I pay attention to how the blog looks, as aesthetics are important to me in anything that i do. i like being able to share my photographs. And even though i stumble with the personal blogging aspect, it is because of this place that i felt able to dream up a workshop to share with the world, one that is 25% photography and 75% self help/inspiration. Because that's what this blog has been, and continues to be, for me.

As for the blogging world, i'm not feeling very connected to it these days. When i first started blogging i spent a lot of time leaving comments on posts, connecting with people and joining in community projects; those were the halcyon days of Poetry Thursday and Sunday Scribblings, when the solitary nature of my days was lessened by my busy online interactions. It makes sense that the reverse is now true, now that i'm through my period of grieving and living a life again. Blogging relationships grow and fade; i'm careful not to be swayed by the PR versions too much (though that still happens - i'm only human). Having said all that, what i have always loved most about blogs is the fact that it shows that we are all the same. You read magazines and books and have this expectation that they carry authority - your school books contained facts that you weren't supposed to argue with. But the vast majority of blogs are written by people just like me - people working to pay their mortgage and bring up their kids the best they can and maintain good relationships with the people they love and find their place on this planet that fits who they are inside. Happy, sad, depressed, confused, excited, envious, lustful, loving, scared, joyful, lost and found souls. We're all doing our best, and some of us write a few words about it and put it on the internet. Not to be judged, just to share.

I guess what i'm trying to say is this: blogging helped me when i was screwed up. I made a lot of good friends. I still want to blog, though i don't always know why. I hope that what i share is valuable in some ways, but most of all it just feels good to put it out there. I'm always respectful to other people and i hope they will continue to be with me (i'd never leave an 'anon' comment, for example. if i have something to say, good or bad, i leave my name). If this blog bores or irritates you, please feel free to stop reading :-)

I've been rereading The Four Agreements, and my god, it's such a wise little book. They can be applied to the scary world of dating, to blogging... to everything you do, actually:

Be impeccable with your word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions

Always do your best.

Och, it's just life really, isn't it. What do you think?

Comments

[furiousball]

I read the Four Agreements last summer and am so grateful for a friend recommending it to me. I struggle with not taking things personally the most. Being impecable with my word seems to be the easiest to remember and change (at least for myself) that is. I hope it helps you find a little more peace than is on your noggin

[Pippa]

Ah, I like the thought of blogging squared! =)

This very same topic inadvertently came up yesterday for me as well, when a reader asked why I blog if not for the sake of narcissism. But that's not what blogging is about. For me it is truly born from the wish to share, a quality all people exhibit. I find it personally uplifting to discipline my thoughts into a post, and I find it vastly inspiring to read about others' insights, struggles and victories ~ because it teaches me and it makes me feel part of the human race, not completely alone.

I, for one, Susannah, am so grateful for what you share! Though I absolutely understand about sometimes wanting to take the blog down ~ I constantly have the same push-pull feelings.

Life's weird, innit?

(: love
Pippa

[kristen]

i have the four agreements, although i've never picked it up.

i can't wait to go read these other posts about blogging, something i question continually.

[dandelion]

Never bored, never irritated, always inspired, always impressed...x

[Jo]

Great post. I agree with everything you say. I ebb and flow with the blogging too. Take one down...put two up...go PP...lose the PP...ack.
Anyway, it's a part of my life and I've come to realise I can do whatever I like with it, whenever I like. As can everyone else. I hope you keep going.
Now I want to go and read the two posts you linked to and off I go again..!

[megg]

Yup. You said it!

Me? I blog because my Mom and my aunts read it and it made them understand me more. I blog because I live in the middle of nowhere (you KNOW I DO!) and it's bloody lonely here. I blog because it makes me write - and I blog because I feel like I owe it some gratitude... it brought me some very good friendships - like YOU!! You never know when you will meet another kindred spirit.

love you honey - and please don't stop!

[linni]

Love the 4 agreements...especially the one 'don't take things personal'...which in blogland, helps!

Just want you to know that being real and successful and oh so talented! and beautiful and honest and artistic and just plain human is what always brings me back to you! xx

[Erin]

I came across your blog quite by accident to be honest. But, I have enjoyed reading your experiences because sometimes I can really relate to what you are saying. I have found that reading other's thoughts has helped to be able to define my own thoughts more clearly.

[sas]

'Other times i wish my blog wasn't a 'personal blog', that it was one focussed solely on photography and art,'

Perhaps you could separate the two? But I've always thought a blog is in some way, the online/virtual version of ourselves. The personal, photography and art: these are all the aspects of you.
And it is so lovely to have your words and art together.
Embrace ther personal: this is you being impeccable with your word. And it connects us (your readers) all.

[susanna]

Great post, Susannah. I also like your Four Agreements - great advice. I've been following your blog for quite some time now and what I love about it is that you are open about your life experiences. These days I am cheering your big move...you are on a new path in your life. Plus, I enjoy seeing your artwork. You have a gift for capturing the essence of people through photography. If I lived closer, I'd hire you. And I'd take one of your photography classes.

One thing that I'd like to mention on this topic, especially after reading other posts about blogs that are too nice or too pretty... I think there is an assumption in blogland that if someone doesn't write openly about their personal experiences, especially painful ones, that they aren't being authentic and are creating a fake front. I may fall into that category and it's certainly not because I want people to perceive me a certain light. It's just that I prefer (and find it easier) to open up face to face or through private emails or phone calls. That's just who I am. And like you, I want my blog to reflect art along with the things that I do.

Why does there have to be so much peer pressure in blogland for blogs to be a certain way, to fall under certain categories, in order to be authentic? Why can't we all just BE?

[Vanessa]

Your words of great wisdom and personal experience wrapped up in your sincere and eloquent turn of phrase, well, they just blow me away with their exactitude as I quietly nod in agreement. A great post. Thanks

[creativevoyage]

ooh yes the PR version of ones life its too easy to give that impression. Meanwhile I'm knee deep with washing before I go on a long trip behind with my taxes furious with ex lodger who has gone off with one of my quilts and my flat is covered in dust - from years back and I've got to prepare for a cat sitter....

[Marisa and Creative Thursday]

beautifully written! thank you for sharing your thoughts behind your blog ~

[daniellemarie]

inspiring, you are. i'm a blog-lurker that has just taken the leap to step out and claim my creative life; grow. i am in agreement with your words: ". . . most of all it just feels good to put it out there." i know that i am on the edge of something, i don't know what. maybe it is just growth. i don't know what i expect to gain from blogging, other than it is a release--- putting it out there. the universe can respond. or not! i read the four agreements a few years ago, probably when i began surfing the blogs and happened upon you and several other inspirational souls, and now i think it will make it's way to the top of the stack again--- thanks to your reminder!

[Lizabeth]

Your blog is like a gift, folded into layers of hand-painted wrapping paper and tracing our hands with glitter. It's hard for me to actually write about the stuff I need to write about, not watered down or glossed over, and your blog is inspiration for the kind of truth process I've been attempting/working toward in my blog space.
Thank you.

[Lubna]

Hello
I think I came here through Maddie's blog, or Yoli's or someone's. I am glad you no longer have to ease your pain through blogging, so to say, but please don't give up blogging. There are many of us, including me who came here just today, who would take back a great deal from your posts.
So do blog, even if occassionaly.
Best wishes

[Thea]

Can you feel all th emotion behind this simple word?

DITTO!

xo

[pink sky]

i understand your words so well. and sometimes it's fuzzy to me too...the why's of it all. all i know is that i keep getting called back to this blogging world for good and for bad. i know it ultimately makes life a little richer for me. and you sharing what you do adds to that joy as well.

[rel]

Suz,
I agree, unequivacably.
rel