~ My yoga shame* ~

* the contents of this post may upset some of you; it contains admissions that may hurt your eyes. Don't say i didn't warn you.

At this very moment I should be in my yoga class, but instead I am sitting on my sofa typing these words. I am a failed yoga student. I paid for the beginner's course, invested in some super-comfy yoga pants and dusted off the yoga mat I bought when i last tried to learn yoga. It's a five-minute walk to the yoga studio but instead I am eyeing up a bar of chocolate and wondering whether it's time to down tools for the day and watch Californication.

This is my yoga shame: i don't really like it. Yoga, i mean. I don't like the accompanying guilt either.

I love the idea of it, i really do. I know that yoga is the exercise of choice among the belle monde, but it's got to the point where i have to acquiesce and accept that me & yoga just doesn't work. We don't gel. Yoga's not ringing my exercise bell. 

It's not that my body is rebelling, either - I'm flexible enough to get into most of the poses - it's more of a mind issue. I can never remember the names of the asanas, I mess up the breathing and I just get a bit bored I'm not excited to attend the classes (which is no reflection on the teacher,  she's lovely).

My usual bodily status is the equivalent of horizontal; inside my head i'm working at 90 mph, but outwardly I'm virtually catatonic, so it makes me wonder if perhaps i need something a little more energetic to get my pulse working. Last year's gym sessions worked a treat, so i'm thinking i need to try something similar.... like kick boxing.

I also want to jettison all my exercise-guilt. Do you get that too? The constant nagging in my head that i should be doing more exercise; even though i don't have a car so walk everywhere; even though i am working all hours so am always on the go. I'd love to be one of those people who zip off to the gym or tennis court every chance they get, whose idea of a great holiday is rock climbing and sweating, but that's just not me. I like sitting down - lying down is even better.

I live in hope that one day i may find a form of exercise that i actually enjoy.

Comments

[sas]

reason #856 why you rock :)

[Mel]

Oh, dear you had me in stitches... I so know where you are coming from... I always used to fall asleep during the deep relaxation bit and had on three occasions to be woken up! Just a bit embarrassing. I never had an issue with the flexibility either, I just found that, why should I do this?

My mind tells me on occasion that I should be the kind of person to love Yoga (or Pilates) but my heart just says what a waste of time.

I also pretty much walk everywhere, have a 2 1/2 toddler to run after, love going for walks in general.

When you find an exercise you like let me know as I actually might enjoy it too.

Melx (snoogiewoogie on twitter:)

[Chantal]

Amen to that!

[carla white]

Shopping is an exercise. So is getting your nails done. I think they're actually planning to make that one an olympic sport, not sure.

[Sarah Bray]

Also hoping that I find my exercise bliss. I'm pretty sure it won't be yoga. I think keyboard typing is more my thing.

[Roxanne]

Yes, jettison that exercise guilt. And, why ... why does the belle monde tell us we have to go somewhere else to exercise? Exercise has become a consumable ... as opposed to an activity. I don't have a car neither, and walk alot. Everyday, all around me exist plenty of opportunities to exercise ... this is Vancouver, after all, where one can walk through the forests, or do the "grouse grind" ... so why do i need a membership at some smelly gym?

I keep hearing about how yoga is the cure for everything that ails you. Grrrrr. If it were that easy! At any rate, I cannot stand on one leg with out immediately falling over, so yep, yoga's not for me either.

(p.s. when I nursed in a big-ass hospital, I once clocked 8 miles in a 12-hour shift!)

[Lisa]

I share your shame, but mine is pilates shame. I know it's great for you and that people really love it, but I CAN'T STAND PILATES!!!! I've tried many times and it just reminds me of gym class. It's too slow and methodical and makes me want to scream. I need something more vigorous, like spinning and weight training. So let's release our guilt and move on to what makes us happy!

[bella]

I'm not a yoga lover either! (Aint no shame in my game.)
My favorite classes at the gym have been belly-dancing and kickboxing.
Have you tried spinning? I figure if you like to sit, this might be the high energy workout for you :)

[Emma]

I have just discovered a new hotel spa just about to open in Cornwall http://www.scarlethotel.co.uk/ maybe spa is more your thing? Oh and I'll be first to join you there! race you to the sea x

[Von]

I loathe any activity that feels like exercise. Have you ever tried hoopdance? I bought a hoop from Hoopnotica (http://hoopnotica.com/ ) about a year ago. I actually look forward to my hooping time every day.

[Glad]

I get it. I can't get into yoga either. But i love the gym and want to become one of those "I-go-to-the-gym-ever-day" people.

"Gym girl" is one of my alter egos. She is fighting (and kickboxing and running and lifting) to get out more. I'm trying to get out of my chair so that she can.

[postcards from...]

i think you might have just written the post about exercising that i think about a lot and have never found the words to actually write!

[postcards from...]

... that being said, i do really love bikram. nic and i did it regularly (3-4x/wk) when we lived in the usa and i really miss it. here in london it's cost prohibitive right now unfortunately, or i'd be going every day.

[Baraginie]

I back up Carla White-I did my toes and fingers today, my nails are sooooooooooooo pretty now!

[Alicia]

It's interesting where you are coming from... I've also been working on getting into yoga... but my experience is pretty good. I really don't like Intense exercising, and yoga doesn't seem too intense for me physically (even if I am NOT at all flexible and not sure I'll EVER see the day of being able to touch my toes...) It just provides me with an outlet to just be. My favorite part is the deep relaxation at the end... and focusing on breathing helps me not focus on the rest of life... Helps me get in tuned with myself.

Wish you luck in finding what fits you :)

[the whole self]

Kick boxing is great! Try Muay Thai. It's the best.

Alternatively, there's always belly dancing!

[Gina D]

I enjoy yoga, pilates, weight training, swimming, belly dancing, biking, ballet, but I can't do spinning. I know you can burn a lot of calories, but I just don't enjoy it. I am sure you will find your fitness niche! Just keep trying out different things!

[1L]

You've got to find what works for you, and maybe yoga truly isn't your thing. But there are some many different styles of yoga to try and each teacher is different. I might recommend a vinyasa or hot class for a bored mind before writing it off completely. Also, finding the right studio and community is key--and guiltfree. :) Light to you.

[debi]

Well, I don't know. My neighbor who died earlier this year at the fabulous age of 95 always told me that if I wanted to grow up to be like her, I shouldn't exercise. :)

[karen]

I also tried yoga and I felt bad when I just didn't get it. First of all I have not been that flexible since I was a baby, seriously some people can touch their nose to their toes!! And I was never insync with the breathing, I sort of felt like a dunce. And most of all the class was so crowded it felt like when I did downward dog my butt was in the face of the person behind me if they came up before I did... uggghh.. I love dancing so I think I will try that next.

[Gina]

I love this post. I think there is a real pressure to be "into" yoga these days. A lot of people at work are CRAZY about it and I feel guilty for having my yoga mat in the closet. But no more! You have freed me. Be happy, don't worry about what you think you should be doing! Chocolate and the couch sound good to me! =)

[blue bicicletta]

Oh yes, I have the same guilt---mine is about running---I like it occasionally, but mainly, I'd rather walk. I've had similar problems with Yoga---most of the time my brain is running at a million miles an hour and it's so hard to sit still. I also think boredom is the problem and have had fun in kickboxing classes and even aerobics classes. I think maybe a hip-hop dance class might be fun (if I could get the guts). Ah, exercise . . . whatever happened to make us feel so guilty? Actually, we all know the answer. I don't really even need to ask.

[Shalina]

i sometimes wish i was one of those people that loved exercising as much as i love to eat, but i just don't. i enjoy bike riding, but finding the time for it is so hard!

i love that you posted this.

[Stefanie]

Lordy, I am totally with you. I have had so many "you just haven't found the right teacher/type" conversations that I am starting to wonder why some people don't quite understand why I am not smitten with it. I just feel really bored and non-productive. I need movement, cardio, sweat and all that jazz. And well I bend before and after. Isn't that enough?

[Alexis]

I am so with you on that last part! I want to be one of those super active bike riders and runners I see on the weekends. But it makes me tired just thinking about it. So, I sit on the couch with a good book and a cup of coffee with a dog at my feet. Ah, bliss :)

[doorways traveler]

fantastic!

i so love how you push the envelope of honesty, and, judging by the response, we are starving for it.

all i can think of to say is: thank god that yoga pants are great for lounging and errands, too. did you get rear-flattering pair? (i'm sure you did)

AND, i recently heard someone say "knitting is the new yoga" so perhaps it follows that "photography is the new yoga"

see? you're getting your divinity elsewhere...that's all.
xoxo lisa

[the go to girl]

ironically i'm supposed to be getting in my car in 15 mins to drive 30 mins to take my yoga class. but i'm here instead catching up with your life and ignoring mine. isn't that what blogs are for?! hah, i adore yoga but it took me years to find the right fit. i mean YEARS of struggling thru sleepy, boring, way too hard for me, hip hop music, no music, stinky sweaty bikram... classes to find my teacher. and she's the only one i'll take from. and it truly is life changing with each class. so, don't give up susannah!!! its the best thing for body, mind, soul truly. and I really think you need to find a DANCE class!!! super cardio, toning and will feed your dancin' heart!

[Kelly Jeanette]

I also hate yoga. Too boring. Have you tried Zumba? I love it (but I love to dance, too). Kickboxing is also fun to let out my fustrations.

[Busymomma66]

I felt the same way, and I thought it was just me. I mean I love the thought of yoga, but I'm loving Zumba--a latin dance/aerobics class. It energizes me, and I love the dance aspect.

[Zavila]

Susannah, keep looking for... someday you will found the exercise perfect for you, your mind,and your body!!!! Good luck!!!

[misti]

I feel the exact same way. I like some stretching, but I will never have the patience. It's like marathons, I love the thought of them but the actual practice of it...not so much.

[Kerstin]

Well, you've definitely hit a nerve here! On more than one level, not just the dislike of yoga (my experience with it is very similar to yours), but the guilt about not exercising enough. Ugh.

When I lived in Bath I was a lot slimmer and fitter ... because I walked a lot, too. All those stairs to my apartment on the 5th floor (no lift, naturally), and the hills all over town. I have never been too keen on gyms or any other organized sport, although I used to love and be very good at ball sports (tennis, basketball) but can't really do team sports because I get palpitations. These days I try to be more relaxed about it all. I love bicycling (sitting while exercising, cool!) because it also gets me out into the fresh air. It's something I did in Bath, too, the path along the canal is just lovely for this!

For what it's worth I think an active lifestyle with lots of walking is pretty healthy, and being an exercise queen is overrated.

Hugs, Kxo

[Kat]

I totally get it. Generally, exercise of any variety is not my thing. I force myself and when I don't go, guilt. I have loved yoga in the past, and still do, but I just can't find the right class or studio. And when you can't, it's not worth it. At all. Lately I've been working on making it to the gym after work, you know, a little treadmill, a little elliptical, but usually, I end up having a glass of wine and relaxing. Same same, no?

[Lauren]

Completely agree. Don't get me wrong, I love yoga and have been doing it for years. But at the moment I just have no interest in going. For this whole year in fact. And I feel guilty. But then I go and take the dogs for a walk and feel so much better as their little tails wag happily at the sight of the leash...

[Jenny]

I have to say that I actually love yoga and love going (sorry!). For me, it's a mental exercise so much so more than a physical one.

One of the original purposes of yoga was to access the emotions stored in the tight places of the body. In doing yoga and accessing those tight places, it allows us to see the 90 mph mind that we are living with.

For me, on the days I'm antsy to not go to yoga, I know I've got some not-so-good things floating around in my head that I might find worthwhile to take a look at.

This is just me, though. I know it's not for everyone.

[beth]

you are not alone girlfriend !
me too !

how about zumba or a body jam class...now those are something else !

well, as long as you make it to class...I think I'll have another cupcake instead :)

[Amanda]

I have 2 yoga dvds that sit above my dvd player staring at me while I sit on the couch.
I am actually going to try a Pilates class next week. We'll see...

[Carol]

Once my son returns to school in a few weeks, it's my intention to take yoga up again in the mornings. Yoga has been one of the few exercises that I've done that I've really enjoyed enough to commit to it. Running, I committed myself to that too, but hated every single second. My flexibility and strength feel amazing when I was practising yoga 4-5 times per week, I miss those days and look forward to restarting in September.

If something doesn't feel enjoyable and going to class feels like a chore, then it's definitely not for you.

Peace
Carol

[.kat.]

"We don't gel. Yoga's not ringing my exercise bell. "

. . . sheer poetry. . .

;o)

[jacqueline]

OH MY GOODNESS - every morning I lie in bed thinking I should get up and MOVE. DO something. Every morning. And every morning I choose to sleep another 30 minutes. SO, everyday I have exercise guilt... I hate that.

[Celeste]

Thanks for the giggle!! I am a yoga teacher...and, um, now I'm thinking not a very good one, because I've actually on occassion found myself thinking about grabbing a coffee...or what I want to nibble on after class (Yum!chocolate!) while I'm teaching a class! Sometimes it's hard to stop the chatter of our minds...and yes, it sounds like yoga might not be for you...I hope you find an activity that makes your soul, and body sing inside and out...:-)

[Vilma]

You're not alone. I know at least 2 people who've said the same thing. One was a gym instructor who majored PE in college, and so probably sees no sense in being still. The other is a dude who hated his first Iyengar yoga class, then almost a year later, was doing Bikram. Maybe you haven't found the right TYPE of yoga? And yes, it's absolutely OK to not like yoga. When the student is ready the teacher will come...or not!

[suzanne]

i couldn't agree more!
i tried yoga classes a couple years ago (since *all my friends are doing it*) but never liked it. so i tried yoga dvd's at home - still no luck.
I think i like more "energetic" excersize as well. my mind is always going at 100MPH and i just can't turn it off enough for yoga, which is why i prefer walking, hiking or even the elyptical machine i have at home (which is currently colelcting dust, but oh well.)

[Ruth]

"I like sitting down - lying down is even better."

Love this!

[Becka Knight]

I love yoga, but I can't pay for it right now. I love dancing too. If I could find an awesome dance class I'd love that. I could dance all day and not get bored.

[Paris Parfait]

I haven't tried yoga, even though many of my friends are enthusiasts. The only types of exercise I like are walking, riding a bike, swimming and occasionally dancing. The rest seems like too much hard work, although I did enjoy my time at a gym when I lived in the US. But what woman in her right mind would set foot in a Paris gym, filled w/ skinny stick-insect girls?? That would just be too psychologically damaging!

[denise]

judging by what a hot dancer you are...belly dancing might be a good fit.

hee.

or just lying down. cuz you're hot doing that too.

because its all about being hot. ;)

love this.

[Holly]

You are so hilarious. Thanks so much for the giggle. I think lying horizontal should be an olympic sport, don't you?

[B]

Haha! I"m glad you said it first! I couldn't find any exercise that I enjoyed either... until I started bellydancing, fun, it celebrates being a woman, and great exercise! You should try it!

[BJ Lantz]

I actually love yoga, but find that I never really quiet my mind and go all zen...so I just enjoy the stretching and go with it.

The thing about exercise is not thinking about it as exercise (that just sounds like work and something you HAVE to do). Just find an activity (you see I did not say: an exercise or workout) you like doing ~ you don't have to love it, but that helps:-).

As an example: I used to go to they gym, where I took step classes, which I really had fun doing (even if I did have to drag myself there more often than not), but then after years of doing that, I realized that between work and working out, I was spending way too much time inside. So I let my gym membership expire, used the money to buy a nice bicycle and haven't looked back since. The wind in my hair, the lovely scenery, the occasional wildlife spotting, the crisp in the morning air...I love it. And it has never once felt like that dreaded thing: exercise. Then I throw in a little yoga now and again when I feel the need to stretch and I am good to go... I don't miss the gym at all.